Sometimes, clients are in so much distress that they wonder if therapy is actually working. This can happen when people are struggling to recover from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), grief and loss, and especially the pain of relationship infidelity or marital affairs. A client once asked me, “if the pain is still there, how can you know if you are improving?”

Discovering that your partner has cheated on you can be one of the most excruciating experiences you can face. Many people in the throes of trying to recover from a partner’s affair go through an agonising time. Although every couple’s experience is uniquely challenging, there are some similar patterns to how recovery takes place.

Some time back, I met a British expat who had moved from Beijing to Kuala Lumpur with his partner. He learned about my occupation as a marriage and family therapist and asked, “Do you think moving to a different country with your partner can inject a healthy fresh-start to your relationship?” I replied, “It depends.”